Change IS possible!
I can take a guess at what you’re thinking; “Change seems possible to other people but not to me!”, “I can’t picture how things can change from the way they are”, “I don’t know how to change!?” “Indeed I don’t know if I am convinced I want to change”. I know this, because I was there.
For seventeen years I have faced daily life with an eating disorder, back and forth from Bulimia to Anorexia. Life with an eating disorder was so familiar to me that I literally couldn’t picture my life any other way. I didn’t believe that change was possible for me, and, until recently, I have questioned whether I wanted change. To use a cliché, there really was no light at the end of the tunnel, no way out. Now, with the correct support, not only do I believe that change is possible, I am living the changes. I’m not asking you to suddenly believe that change is possible; converting your belief at the click of a finger is unlikely. But, I’m asking you to trust the notion that change is possible for each and every one of us. The belief may take time, as it did for me.
When I sought out help from Heather, it was not because I had a sudden epiphany that I could or wanted to change. It was through sheer desperation. Everyone around me could see something I couldn’t. To me, my life was functional and in control, married with two beautiful kids, a husband, professional career, what was the problem if I was fully functional right?? The eating disorder was just my shameful secret, my burden to bear. But secret it was not, I couldn’t see it at the time how destructive I had become to myself, my loved ones, my own mental state and my ability function in life. My life had shrunk away with me, with my marriage and career on the line and my family and social life disordered. But there is hope…
To me, Heather and the support she has given me has been a lifesaver, literally! Heather has guided me through the process of realising the depth and complexity of my eating disorder. From this we have been able to find answers, solutions and understanding which are relevant to me. I have been able to learn and re-learn some of my personal values, allowing me to rebuild a life that is true to me. Being ‘true to yourself’ was a difficult concept for me to grasp but Heather helped me understand. It starts with knowing who you are and accepting yourself; knowing your strengths, worth, passions, limitations and purpose in life and then living that way all the time. You come to know yourself only by living life and finding what works for you and what defines you and makes you whole. Being true to yourself means you don’t worry about pleasing other people; living by someone else’s standards or rules. You don’t care what people think of you. You live as your natural self.
I encourage you to figure out your true values to begin to live an authentic life that reflects the wonderful reality of who you are. One of my biggest learnings is that I have the right to have choice and make choices about anything relating to me. Being true to yourself is a personal choice for truth; making choices about how you want to live. You have the total power to live your life any way you want. You are the game changer – you’re in charge, you’re the boss of you, you set the ground rules and boundaries, no one else.
Working with Heather has helped me build on the concept of true values and gradually move away from a life consumed by eating disorders to a life that is beginning to open up for me. You can do the same; you just need the right support to guide you. I would love to tell you that it’s easy and that I can give you all the answers and solutions. No one can tell you how to be true to yourself except you. But (and it’s a big but!) with the correct support you can be guided along the path of understanding yourself and your circumstances and discovering what change means for you.
I am still becoming myself and still learning who Lynsey really is and I am working at being true to myself. Yes at times it can be scary, the unknown. But the more time goes on the more exhilarating it becomes to accept the fact that it’s okay to be me and want to be true to myself. I would urge you to seek the support that you deserve. Don’t wait until you feel ready, for that time is never likely to come. Happiness is attainable here and now when you live your life in alignment with your core values.
I wish you love and strength in your own personal journey.