7/8 months ago I was ready to give up. I had been suffering for a long time with weight issues which lead me to experiment with a range of intense diets. I became obsessed with weight loss, I had begun to over dose on the Metformin the doctors had prescribed for me, I knew that over dosing on Metformin would lead to a laxative effect.
I then tried an extreme diet which did cause me to lose weight but it caused my obsession with weight loss to worsen and I began taking large amounts of laxatives and vomiting on a daily basis.
I was very unhappy and stopped going out and seeing my friends, I would go to work in a daze and then come home and sleep, only waking to binge, vomit and take laxatives. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t even want my mother to know what I was going through, I was so ashamed. I felt I was disgusting, ugly and fat, but I would put on a happy face to hide how I was feeling.
It was my sister who first started to notice something was wrong. She encouraged me to go to the doctors. The doctor put me on some antidepressants and referred me to the local eating disorder service. Unfortunately the local eating disorder service couldn’t help me soon enough and things started to get worse, I was taking between 10 and 15 laxatives a day and vomiting on a daily basis. One day I took a massive dose of laxatives and ended up almost going to hospital. My parents who by now knew about my situation found Heather through BEAT.
I contacted Heather and began seeing her on a weekly basis from then. She encouraged me to reduce my laxatives and vomiting and encouraged me to plan my diet so that I was getting the correct nutrition. She also helped me to see myself as beautiful again, I hadn’t seen myself as attractive or beautiful for so long. 7/8 months down the line I have just had my last session with Heather and I am eating well, I haven’t vomited or taken laxatives for a good couple of months and I can honestly say I am happy! I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Heather and I will forever be grateful to her. I am living my life again and it feels great!
This note is to anyone who is feeling hopeless, depressed and like nothing will change, I have been in that place and I promise you that things can change, you can recover! With the help and encouragement from Heather you will soon feel supported and understood and… yes it may take a while but you will have made the first steps to recovery, and so I wish you the very best!